#I hate doing work in pen this is going to be the 5th time I've had to restart the same page kgjwjdoowueieuw

[pierswife]

I am going to commit a felony (for legal reasons, this is a joke)

[nimata-beroya]

20 Questions For Writers

This was sitting on my notifs for a few days and i finally took the time to do it. Thank my darling @takadasaiko for the tag!! 💕💕

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 88 works in total, 31 of which are for Star Wars.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

574,873 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, I'm only writing for Star Wars. But I used to write for Arrow and Supergirl, and ASoIAF, Dark-Hunters and Chronicles of Nick are in standby. I'm waiting for right motivation to come back to any of the last 3.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I'm only talking about Star Wars fics here...

Kadala (The Mandalorian) [and 4th place in most kudos of all my works]

Rough Awakening (The Bad Batch) [and 5th place in most kudos of all my works]

Welcome to Yavin IV (Rebels)

An Explosive Situation (Rebels)

Rescue on Ryloth (The Bad Batch)

And the the rest of my all-time fics with most kudos are

Take Your Breath Away (Arrow)

Undisclosed Desires (Arrow)

Made For You (ASoIaF/Game of Thrones)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try my best, but sometimes I forget, and then it's been weeks and months since I got the comments that I'm embarrassed to reply them after so long. Even though, I think it's important that a writer let the reader/commenter that they appreciate it, even if it's with a simple "thank you" or an emoji. I know I'm being a hypocrite here since I fail to do what I preach, but it doesn't make it less true.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think that would be Drifting, because it's kind of open ending, left to be interpreted, so it could end however the reader wants. Although, I left an author's note at the end saying what's my preferred ending, which always will be inclined to the happy side.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

High Above the Ground because is the happy ending i want for Commander Fox and Riyo Chuchi. They deserve only the best!

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

No, not really. I've gotten only 1 stupid message of someone criticizing a fic, but that was years ago when I still posted on FF dot net. The joke was on the reader because I moderated all the comments there so I just deleted it and nobody saw it but me. Honestly, I just laughed about it cuz their argument was just stupid.

9. Do you write smut?

I do, all kinds -from the most tame thing to the most perverted. But I used to wrote way more in my old fandoms, especially for Arrow. I think for Star Wars I've written just 1 or 2 smutty fics, and tamed at that.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I've tried a couple of occasions but never finished them. I'm not opposed to them obviously, but I do think the combination of fandoms has to be just right to work. Or at least, when it's me doing the writing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes! Many, many years ago in the first fandom I ever wrote for. It was awful and hated it! You see, this was in the stone age of the internet when fandom specific sites abounded and not everyone had an account on FFnet yet (and Ao3 was not even a dream). The site I published on was split in 2 sections because the ships war in the fandom was bloody and ruthless, so to avoid the slaughter, I kept myself in my preferred side. But one day, a friend who read fic on both sides told me that someone stole my fics. Avoiding to get caught, the person who did it published them under a pen name that was almost exact to mine, she only added a period at the end, which could easily go unnoticed. Oh, and she interchanged characters names so it'd fit the other ship.

At first, my friend thought I had posted them but she knew I'd never write for that ship, like ever. In the end, it turned out that I wasn't the only one who had being plagiarized. Several people ON BOTH SIDES were. Thankfully, the person was caught and banned, but we almost burned the site down because of the whole shitshow.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

By me, yes, several. All into Spanish (my mother tongue). By others, not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes! A couple of times for different fandoms, and I loved it. I hope I'll do it again. The thing is that you need to find the right partner for it, or it can be a nightmare.

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

I don't appreciate this question, let me tell you. It's hard to choose. But I think I have to go with Olicity. I love them still (even if the show ending ruined it for me). Close second would be Braime (and I'm glad that there's still hope for them on the books, because as usual the show fucked them so but sooooo bad)

And as Star Wars specific, I don't think anyone will be surprised if I say it's Kalluzeb, right 🤣 They're my babies and I adore them!

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Anything for Arrow or Supergirl. I sworn off those fandoms after their respectively awful endings.

No promises, but there's still hope for all if my unfinished works for Star Wars 😅

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Coming up with ideas. So, so many ideas. All the time and I want to write them all.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Finishing writing the above-mentioned ideas. I tend to splay myself too much when I'm writing, and it takes me forever to get to the portion I really want to write (usually the idea that sparked the whole writing process) and I lose steam. That's why I have so many unfinished WIPs. I wish they'd write themselves.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

It's ok if used sparingly. A word here, a phrase over there is fine, but if a wall of dialogue that the reader needs to scroll down to the notes or click on a tooltip to find out the meaning it's the worst!!! A better solution for a writer that really needs/wants to have a whole conversation in another language for plot reasons or whatever, then all they need to do is to say once that the characters are talking in the other language and put the dialogue in the same language they've been writing the rest of the narrative and in italic.

The characters who don't speak the language won't understand what's being said, but the reader will and their reading will be more pleasant and fluid.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

An Argentinian show called Floricienta. A modern retelling of Cinderella.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

I don't like this question either! All my fics are my babies! How do you want me to choose?!! There are so many I'm proud of. I guess I'll point the most recent one: Feed Me Poison, Fill me till I Drown I really like how this story is coming along. It's not done yet (what else is new? 😅) but what's coming is so so good!

Tagging (no pressure): @renee561 @thecoffeelorian @genericficerblog @airlockfailure @mistr3ssquickly @insertmeaningfulusername @fanfictasia

[elysium-the-true-faceofsalvation]

So, to celebrate me releasing all of the character profiles, i've decided to create a "silly" post with a bunch of trivia of all of the characters! Not all is silly

Silly Headcanons

(is it a headcanon if it's created by the writer?)

Aoi has an old tennis ball that is basically completely destroyed, but he refuses to throw it away.

Emari always walks around with a golden earring on her left ear, but she would never explain how she got it when anyone asks. And her favorite food is ice cream :3

Syouga always has a pen on his pockets that he keeps fidgeting with. Never let this man near a clickable pen, he will NEVER stop clicking it.

Reika has a diary that she had ever since she was 15 and she never misses a day of writing on it. Everytime that it got full, she would try to buy one that was basically identical to it.

Haru's gay gay homosexual gay and had a boyfriend he met in 8th grade :3. Also, he dropped out of highschool.

Harlow always wanted to have a child, but she has never met someone to do it with and never had the time to adopt one.

Genki doesn't know how to read, but he will never admit to it out of fear. But he will always try to practice every day, but he has a hard time with it.

Saki hates being at her school and at home, so, she spends most of her time on the streets doing nothing.

Eisuke is an elementary school teacher and works on 1st to 5th grade classes. He also has a very hard time falling asleep at night.

Even if it doesn't seem like it, Akari is a very introverted and indoor person. She doesn't really have any friends as she doesn't bother to make any. Weird for someone like her, right?

Numen is really bad at cooking, but only a few have the heart to reject what they cook, because everyone knows Numen would be heartbroken if that happens.

The Overseer is literally just a face on a TV. No one has seen him physically, not even Numen.

Lyrics of songs that really fit them

(That's a long name)

Aoi: "Support the family, don't stray, display, obey, you must be perfect, oh-oh You suffocate the ones you love, that's not just something you forget. But I'm done with your games, I'll go my own way"

Emari: "Wheeze through the night as my lungs burn inside. As I fake through the day that never subsides if I, Can't call to mind all the words or the lines, I'll try; To ride the train wherever it will go tonight"

Syouga: "Secrets you bury deep within the sand. Like truth trapped in the night. The fears behind your eyes. Tell me what's hidden deep within your mind."

Reika: "This is what I've come to be (This is what I shouldn't be) This is what I wanna be."

Haru: "Before I knew, it withers way too soon, that one word that rings true. And now, a fruit will bloom in my heart, I can't move. Within the mirror's sight, there's a painting inside. A sign of "makeup" lighting the loss in my life."

Harlow: "Come on, let's throw away our minds. Dance on cloud 9. Forget about the stress of life, ra-ta-ta. We'll fight the sun and have our fun until tomorrow comes. So wipe the tears from your face, and roll the night away."

Genki: "Deep inside I've always been Reaching out for a hand, so don't let this be the end."

Saki: "The mourning of one still alive."

Eisuke: "It's a fragile state of mind. Like I'm losing sense of time. And the world is moving on while I am left behind. It's a never ending wait. For a sign to change my fate. Like I'll never reach the end of this forsaken chase."

Akari: "Give me your love, give me your love, give me your love. More, oh more, oh. Give me your love, give me your love. Going insane by love so much."

Numen: "Both of us are hated by our own lives! As we're both intoxicated by a sad goodbye. Without ever knowing what it means to die. Both of us are hated and berated by our own lives."

The Overseer: "Look at how they crawl around Upon the ground like little ants. Yes, but how they fascinate, confusing fate. With what is merely chance."

(I wonder if somebody knows where each of those lyrics belong to.)

Voice Headcanons

Numen: [x]

Aoi: [x]

Emari: [x]

Syouga: [x]

Reika: [x]

Haru: [x]

Harlow: [x]

Genki: [x]

Saki: [x] (She hates her voice.)

Eisuke: [x]

Akari: [x]

The Overseer: [x]

Andddd, that's it! I hope that can keep you guys well fed while i'm working on the Numen Voice drama and the Undercover mv. I hope i'm able to release it soon!

[immortalbutterflycos]

My relationship with writing is getting too complicated.

I don't really understand why writing is simultaneously the easiest and most difficult thing for me to do.

I've always been writing. I think that maybe it could have started in elementary school, but if I'm honest I don't have many memories of back then. If I didn't really write in those years, it was probably because I was always reading instead. That much I do remember.

In middle school, it had been an outlet of sorts.

Bullied, depressed, just your average awkward kid I guess. I don't really know what actually inspired me to- wait. okay no. I do remember what inspired me to start writing. There really was a genuine notable moment in my life and that just seems like an insane thing to have forgotten until now.

The entire school was reading this same book at the same time. It was this huge event for a while. There were posters around the school and everything. (The book was 'Schooled' by Gordon Korman)

After we had all completed the book, there was an assembly for the whole school in the Gym that was led by the author himself. This was the very first published author I had ever seen in person and I was enraptured. Because for the first time, the author of a book I actually enjoyed wasn't just a couple of words on the cover, they were a real-life thing. A profession.

The moment Gordon Korman said that he had written his first book when he was in 8th grade, it was like a switch was flipped in my brain. I wanted to be just like him. If he can do it, then why couldn't I?

I truly did start really writing that day.

It was a story about a girl falling in love with a demon after her best friend got kidnapped (or something like that. There was a demon and a best friend named 'Jay'.) and it was written down in a composition book in pink pen. I think I actually still have that now that I think about it... Maybe I should re-read it...

From that day on, I was always writing. No, I never got anything published, but the passion was still there.

I've started to write/plan out a few different stories since then but they've never been completed and to some extent, they've been abandoned completely. (which is actually a big part of the actual point of this post)

Sophomore year of high school, I started writing so much that I actually managed to piss off some of my teachers because of it. Well that and I would just pull out the book I wanted to read instead of the one I was supposed to for class.

Listen, if they were going to force me to reread "The Pearl" by John Steinbeck for the 5th school year in a row, then I wasn't going to comply. I liked the book at first and then they killed it. They beat that dead horse until we were all like, "Hey maybe leave the horse alone??? Just let the poor thing die???"

Other kids got to read Shakespeare and learn about Greek Mythology but I hadn't read a single thing about Greek Mythology until my Senior year. BRIEFLY. I was so mad.

Oh, and Catcher in the Rye. Fuck that book. I read it my Junior year for school and hated it so much that I, the least confrontational person on the planet, got into arguments with my teacher about it. She was also a shit teacher on top of that so idk I think I just had a growing grudge that whole time.

Fucking hell. I don't even know if anyone has even read this far but fuck it. If I wasn't convinced that I had undiagnosed ADHD before writing this post, then I sure as hell am now.

Actually, that's a good segway. I'm going to cling to that.

WRITING IS SIMULTANEOUSLY THE EASIEST AND HARDEST THING TO DO AND I THINK THAT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT.

Sorry, didn't mean to yell. (lmao)

Anyway, back in sophomore year, I started writing fanfiction. That was genuinely the first time I started writing something that I planned to actually be read by another human being other than myself. All of the work I did in high school is on my old Wattpad account. I wish I could delete some of them but honestly, I lost the account info along with the e-mail address I used to create the account so it just gets to live on the internet forever.

But yeah. That was a thing.

I was still doing regular writing on top of that, but I have been hyperfixating on things my whole life, and fandoms and writing go hand in hand.

The whole point of this, WHICH HAS TAKEN TOO DAMN LONG TO GET TO, is that I can write. I can write for hours and hours without wanting to ever stop. I have plans and journals and slips of paper and post-it notes all just filled with writing. Hundreds of Docs.

And not a single completed project.

That is my issue.

I can plan out a cohesive story but actually getting to the writing part is so fucking hard.

This is weird as hell because I've posted full chapters before. On Wattpad in the past and Ao3 since I got into Critical Role. Never finished a story but that's another issue.

Right now, I struggle to even write a full chapter that I'm happy with.

I don't know what it is honestly. but its frustrating to be capable of writing and then to not be able to write.

That's it. That's the post.

If any of you read this far, you get a cookie because goddamn...

[miss-smutty]

Forbidden

Chapter 3

A/N- Evey couple of chapters you will get Professor Hemsworth's POV and this is the first one 🥵 I really wanted to write his story and hear his thoughts too.

Summary- He can't get her out of his mind, the girl in the coffee shop. Will fate bring them together again?

Word count- 2.9K

Pairing- Prof!Hems X Reader

Warnings- Age gap (OC is 20) student/professor relationship, swearing, dirty talk

18+ Only!

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Posted: 5th Sept 2021

Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @jjpogueprincess @longlostinanotherworld @mostly-marvel-musings @darklydeliciousdesires @monet-belle @help2700 @presidentpotts

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Chris Pov

My Apartment was silent as usual, empty like always when I arrived home from work, throwing my coat and bag on to the sofa and slumping down next to them.

I couldn't stand the silence, it taunted me and brought back memories I'd rather not remember. I'd thought about getting a roommate but still hadn't gotten around to posting out an ad, the idea made me nervous. Although I hated being alone, living with a stranger would be even worse. I turned on the TV to fill the expanse of the large empty room that I'd work so hard for but ultimately meant absolutely nothing to me.

My mind began to wander back to this morning and the chance meeting with the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on. She'd taken my breath away and made me so nervous that I'd used some cheesy chat up line. I'd known at the time it would come back to haunt me tonight, no wonder she ran out of there as soon as she could. Thats why I hesitated, my hand brushed against the small of her back when I was about to ask her for her number and it took away my sensibility. I leaned in like I was about to kiss her, thank god I stopped myself though, how ridiculous would that have been?

I'd spoke to her for no more than ten minutes but somehow felt like I'd known her all my life. Asking for her number wouldn't have been the most unusual thing but she was in such a rush and I didn't want to make her late. There's absolutely nothing more I hate than tardiness.

I still couldn't get her off of my mind, she was beautiful, long dark hair that flowed down her back and the most piercing green eyes I'd ever seen. I couldn't stop looking into them, framed by dark eyelashes that made the emerald green pop even more. It's been a long time since I'd met a woman that made me feel as nervous as she did. The only thing is, she was young, much younger than me and I'd be fooling myself to think I'd actually stand a chance with her. Even if by some miracle I did, she deserved more than what I could give her, I was a mess, even after all this time I was still living in the past.

**********

I woke up feeling like a teenage boy again, a tent of my erection in the cotton sheets sprawled across my middle. I'd dreamt about the girl all night and honestly nothing about it was innocent. I rubbed at my eyes and stretched my muscles before finally getting out of bed, I had my first Junior Comms class to teach today and of course, I couldn't be late.

To say I was dreading today would be an understatement, I'd made a deal with the Dean to teach the Comms class because none of the other professors were willing and I was desperate for a job. I was hoping that if I exceeded expectations during my first semester I would finally get to teach psychology like I'd planned in the first place. Of course that meant being on my best behaviour and a lot of arse kissing, which I would do, albeit reluctantly.

The air was crisp this morning as I set off walking towards the university, luckily for me I didn't live to far away from the campus and the walk would help distract my thoughts because God knows they needed distracting. They always did.

Before I knew it, I'd arrived at the halls, looking up at the architecture of the building and realising my idea to walk obviously hadn't worked. I'd barely paid attention the entire time and it was only muscle memory that had gotten me to my required destination.

I held onto the door handle of the lecture hall and took a deep breath before stepping in, the room erupting into wolf whistles was not what I expected but admittedly better than what I was thinking. I scanned the room and my students, rolling my eyes at the girls lining the front row, their eager faces taking me in. 

The class was full of typical students, the usual cliques you see at every educational institution. The jocks and cheerleaders, the nerds and oh fuck. The air was almost knocked from my lungs when I spotted her sat at the back of class. The girl I'd been talking to in the coffee shop yesterday, the girl that had been on my mind and in my dreams ever since. She was here, right in front of me which meant she was my student and younger than I'd actually thought. Fuck.

Even though she was now out of bounds I couldn't take my goddamn eyes off of her, the way her wavy hair cascaded over her shoulders. I could feel my cock tingling when my eyes fell to her low cut top and that unreal cleavage. I pulled my eyes away from her so as not to draw attention and focused on preparing for the lesson, leaving the students to whisper for a while longer while I recovered my composure.

Like a magnet, my eyes unwillingly kept finding their way back to her and she looked uncomfortable, squirming in her seat. I was making her uncomfortable and I still couldn't stop myself, I frowned as I subtly watched her cheeks blush and realised she's probably embarrassed because she'd been flirting with her Professor. Of course she'd be embarrassed, I was so much older than her but was it wrong that I didn't feel one ounce of awkwardness at the fact I had been flirting with a student?

All I could think about as I watched her tits bounce as she moved In her seat, was burying my face in her cleavage and I knew I had to look away before my dick reacted. The last thing I needed in a class full of students was to be walking around with a fucking erection.

I could stand there and watch her all day but certain students had stopped talking and they were waiting for me to speak and I'd almost forgotten why I was here In the first place. I really needed to get my head in the game, being infatuated with a student would definitely not get me the promotion I was looking for.

I pushed my hands in my tight pockets, hoping to stretch the fabric a little so my semi-hard dick wasn't so apparent, then my eyes were drawn to her again and she was talking to Jake. That pissed me off and I could feel my jaw tensing as I cleared my throat rather forcibly, hoping to get the attention of the whole class at the same time as distracting her from the rather friendly conversation she was having with another guy. A guy her age at that.

"Now I've got your attention, we're going to use our first session to get to know each other a little better. You'll be doing quite a lot of speeches so it's best if you feel comfortable with one another. I'll start by introducing myself." I looked at her again, gulping hard when I saw her with the end of her pen in her mouth and the way her lips wrapped around it. Fuck. "So, I'm Professor Hemsworth and I'm originally from Melbourne in Australia." I looked to her and she smiled, remembering what we spoke about yesterday.

A student started with the typical Australian stereotypes although I'm actually surprised no one told me to throw another shrimp on the Barbie. I laughed along anyway, I'd been expecting it, it's literally the first thing anyone who isn't Australian says when they first meet me. So when I told him it wasn't very original I meant it, I'd heard it a thousand times before and I'll hear it a thousand times again.

I told the class a little about myself before informing them they would do the same, it didn't go down well, the room filled with groans. I looked to her and she looked downright terrified, I sympathized for her, it wasn't easy speaking in front of a room full of people but was the best way to break the ice.

"Claire Abbott." I called, watching the blonde at the front stand, nervously. She giggled and twirled her hair around her finger as she smiled at me, I knew what she was doing. I quickly glanced at the girl from the coffee shop as she rolled her eyes at the blonde at the front, I smirked back at her, amused at her tolerance for predictable girls.

"I erm… I don't know what to say?" The blonde said, looking at me questioningly.

"Just anything about yourself that we might find interesting, the first thing that comes to mind."

"Well I own four horses and I'm the cheer captain." I had to stop myself from laughing when she rolled her eyes again but the smile soon disappeared when I saw Jake lean over to speak to her and the way she laughed at him made my blood boil. I was seething, not because they were speaking instead of listening but because she was speaking to him instead of me.

"You two at the back, we'll wait for you shall we?" I called them out, my voice more stern than I expected. I was pissed off that Jake would easily be able to get to know her and I couldn't. She stared at me, her eyes wide, she was surprised I'd called them out in front of everyone which made me even more pissed off because that probably blew my chances even more. What the hell am I thinking? What chances, I need to remember I'm her fucking Professor.

She sat silently through the rest of the class, I still couldn't keep my eyes off of her and thankfully neither could she. She looked flustered and I liked it, I liked that I could make her feel that way without even touching her. She was so goddamn hot I could hardly concentrate on what the other students were saying.

When I glanced down at the sheet of names in front of me and saw Jake's name my jaw clenched.

"Jake Hudson." I couldn't help narrowing my eyes as he stood up, I just knew he'd say something cocky and I was so fucking jealous of him right now. I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath, I needed to keep my cool, especially in a room full of students and her. If she knew what I was really like she wouldn't look at me the way she did.

"Hi, I'm Jake." I bit onto the inside of my gum, that bit of pain keeping me grounded. "I'm also from Australia." He gave me that fucking cocky half arsed smile I'd been waiting for and the adrenaline shot through me. I was thankful no one noticed apart from maybe the one person in here I didn't want to notice. She was watching me carefully. I had to loosen my tie a little as he continued to speak, I was burning up with rage.

I'm glad class was almost over, I needed a stiff drink and I needed it now. I looked at my sheet of names again and there were only a couple left, I wondered which one was hers. I needed to know her name. Fuck. I needed to know everything about her.

"Jessica Watson." She stood up. Fuck, Jessica, it was a cute name and fit her perfectly. I was mesmerized with her and the way she spoke as she tucked her long hair behind her ears. "These last couple of days have been pretty eventful for me." She looked right at me, what was she going to say? "I'm living the life of a romance novels heroine and I'm excited to see what the next couple of days bring." Oh fuck. Was she talking about meeting me? Or Jake? I like to think by the way she studied me as she spoke, she was talking about me. This was wrong, so wrong but why did it feel so right? I forgot there was anybody else in the room, my cock twinging as I pictured myself fucking her on this desk. I needed to stop thinking like this, it's unprofessional and completely immoral. I shook my head and turned back to the class.

"I hope we all feel a bit more comfortable with each other now, some of you shared some pretty revealing things." I looked at Jessica. "Some of you, not so much." Then raised my eyebrows at a group of guys in the middle of class that had used thier time to inform everyone about the party at their frat house this weekend. "I'll have a schedule for you all next time I see you, anybody that has any questions can see me after class, everyone else is free to leave." I looked at her one last time, hoping she'd use this opportunity to come and speak to me.

I sighed when I sat back at my desk and a group of girls took their opportunity, I wasn't in the mood for it but answered their questions anyway. I didn't take my eyes from Jessica, especially when Jake started speaking to her again. The girls in front of me were taking up my time, trying to flirt with me instead of asking relevant questions and I was over it.

"Do you actually have any questions about the course ladies? I have other things to be getting on with if not." I was a little short with them without actually meaning to be. I just wanted them out of my goddamn way so I could see what was going on with Jessica and Jake.

The girls finally left, more like stormed off but I couldn't care less right now. She was still sat at her desk which means she waited until I was alone which has got to be a good sign. We stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, the silence driving me insane so I cleared my throat and she blinked like I'd woken her from a daydream. What was she thinking about?

She packed up her things into her bag slowly, I could tell she was buying herself time but I felt relaxed now we were alone, in fact I felt excited which was completely ridiculous. I felt like a damn teenager.

"Did you need to talk Miss Watson?" I was amused and I needed to break the ice before the silence got the better of me. I leaned back in my chair and folded my arms across my chest.

"I erm…" She walked towards me, down the stairs, looking at her feet. She was unsteady and looked nervous as hell, was she going to tell me to back off? "I wanted to apologise, I had no idea you were a Professor." She stood at the bottom of the stairs, I was glad she wasn't too close. I don't know if I'd be able to control myself around her and lord knows I had to. The atmosphere was tense, neither of us really knowing what to say or do, all I could think about was ripping off her clothes.

"There's no need to apologise Miss Watson, I also had no idea you were a student but I was hoping to bump into you again. Funny how things work out isn't it?" I cocked my eyebrow at her, testing her, seeing how she would react to my comment. Something changed and she didn't look quite so nervous anymore.

"I think fate can be rather cruel Professor Hemsworth." The way she called me Professor stirred something deep inside me, a hunger I didn't know I had and when she moved closer to me I began to feel nervous.

"Oh really? Why is that Miss Watson?" She was so close now, I could smell her sweet scent of coconut shampoo. I wanted to touch her badly, I didn't though. I didn't dare because I knew if I did I wouldn't be able to stop myself and I must restrain, she's my student after all. It's wrong. It's forbidden.

I still couldn't stop myself from flirting, like an uncontrollable impulse and as soon as I opened my mouth to try and be professional I would just go right ahead and flirt. She was so outrageously attractive but the kind of attractive where she didn't know it and didn't flaunt it, which I found even more endearing.

"I was hoping to bump into you again too, only now the thought of what could've happened will have to remain a fantasy." My restraint was really being tested now, she was teasing me, egging me on and the fact she'd also been fantasising about me made it extra difficult to resist. I had to loosen my tie again, I needed my fingers to be busy so I didn't touch her. I had an internal conflict going on inside my mind and it was like torture, if this was day one of class how the hell was I meant to survive the whole semester?

"I better get to my next class, we can't have anyone thinking I'm your favourite now can we?" Fuck sake. I ground my teeth together, I was glad she was leaving, I couldn't take the tension any longer but at the same time I knew, with distance the desire would only intensify. She turned to leave and I couldn't stop myself watching her hips sway as she walked, her ass was so round and bouncy, it hypnotised me and that's when I knew I was in deep trouble.

[ohno-abug]

This is more of a rant than anything. Think of it as my backstory to becoming a mysterious poetry goth girl.

I first found out that I liked writing when I was in the fourth grade (~10 years old) when we had to write a fictional story about a monster. I wrote five pages. I loved it. I started writing in journals, found wattpad :| . Absolutely loved it, any free time was spent reading books. I remember the first series I really loved was The Maze Runner.

I started losing interest in writing when I started getting bullied. I was teased for not talking a lot, wearing dark colors, eating too much, not wearing shorts or tank tops, liking rock music. About a year after I found out how much I liked writing, I found my favorite band, Bring Me The Horizon. I was also very into Black Veil Brides, especially Knives and Pens. I started liking music more than writing, because it wasn't as noticeable.

Then, we were learning poetry. Long story short, I did not understand poetry until I was 17 years old. So, I was very frustrated and started hating anything that involved reading. Then, it was reading long books that I didn't have any interest in. It was typical stuff, the wolf story that saves the trip and did that really long journey, and How To Kill A Mockingbird. I think there were others, but they were the most popular books I was forced to read.

I studied poetry in all of my English classes from 5th grade (10-11 years old) to 11th grade (16-17 years old). In 12th grade (17-18 years old) I decided to chance it and dual enroll in a community college class. My GPA was already pretty bad, so it couldn't hurt it anymore than it already was. In this English class through the college, it was focused on writing styles, the goal was to write five essays, 2-3 pages, mixture of MLA and APA formats. I hadn't touched anything involving essays since middle school (~13 years old). But, I excelled, like perfect scores on four of the essays, and almost perfect on one. This class reignited my love for writing and reading again, but in a more mature and dignified way, a little less than 10 years after the first time.

During that class, where I was reading the course book about formats, reading the required materials that were relevant and interesting, researching my own sources for the essays, I was reading books in my own time. Before this class, I hadn't finished a novel since I was around 14 or 15. And even then, I remember it being so hard and finishing a book became a chore.

But, during that English class, where I had to write five essays, I managed to start and finish two novels, while taking another high school class, and working part time. I was turning down eating dinner with my family just to finish one of the books. I took the other book on vacation with me and finished it while my mom was complaining about how long I was taking!

Then, the class was over. And life happened. My childhood dog got even more sick, I was being bullied at work, I got offered a job somewhere else, took it, classmates on instagram where having the time of their lives (it seemed) on winter break, while I was barely able to keep up with what was going on. It's about two weeks after winter break ended now. My dog is doing a little bit better. I quit my last job, and am now settling into my new job. I only have two more high school classes to do to graduate. But, I really want to read and write, want to go hiking, want to garden, want to move on with my life. I can't wait to get done with high school and be able to live better. I think college is going to be easier and more fun for me than having to constantly ask my teachers and counselors where are my grades? What dates are graduation? Is there anything else I need to do? When did this get added? Why didn't you tell me I needed to do this?

I've been disappointed with public school for a long time. I hate it. I hate most of the teachers, the students, the work. It's hard to go to work and be treated like an adult in my mid 20s, then the next day teachers think I have nothing going on in my life and don't understand how the real world works and can so attend a mandatory meeting during work hours.

(Literally just checked my email. Picture day is less than two weeks away, during the time where I am at work. Thankfully, it's not mandatory to graduate. Like, seriously?)

I hope once I graduate, I will refind my hobbies and start to love life. Until then, I'm going to pretend like I'm a college going mysterious poetry goth girl(which I definitely am).

[thatgirlwithasquid]

Tag 10 people you want to get to know better!

Tagged by @ickypuppi3 (ty <3)

Relationship status: single

Favourite colour: purple but I'm annoying and have a specific shade of purple. I could not tell you what it's called but this-

I just think it's so pretty

Favourite food: cheese and potato pie

Song stuck in your head: currently basically the whole album Maggot by Dazey and The Scouts

Time: it's about quarter to four rn

Dream trip: i actually don't really like going out that much, especially abroad. I'd much rather stay home but if I were to go somewhere then Manchester with my friends again would be fun.

Last book you read: I've been about a third of the way through Radio Apocalypse by Kayleigh Gallagher for the past month - I've just managed to get distracted, whoops!

Last book you enjoyed reading: I didn't actually finish it because I was only rereading it on the bus omw back home after an exam like 2 months back but The Darkest Part Of The Forest by Holly Black. It's not my favourite book but I love it and probably need a new copy because it's getting a bit tatty.

Last book you hated reading: The Infinate Sea by Rick Yancey. The 5th Wave was a good read but that one? Yikes. I finished it fueled by pure stubborness and complained the entire time. Still debating reading the last book in the trilogy for the sake of completion, though.

Favourite thing to cook/bake: I'm not great at cooking but the things I make most often are pancakes or eggy bread. They're real comfort foods and they're hella easy.

Favourite craft to do in your free time: drawing? I absolutely adore sketching in ballpoint pen - I have a whole 15 pack of these WHSmith pens exclusively for sketching in because they just feel so nice for it!! My work notebook is a solid 25% doodles, lol.

Most niche dislike: oooh, here's a couple: the texture of paper, the knowledge that there are arteries in my legs (idk why do not ask it just makes me feel squirmy and ick), having literally any length to my nails beyond the beds

Opinion on circus(es): I do not think I have any opinions on circuses. I've never been, I don't think, and know very little about them other than what they are.

Do you have a sense of direction: aha not at all. I've tried to get a grasp on where things are but I have no clue literally ever. Whenever my irl friends try to dumb down their directions for me I just sorta go '...just pretend I know and get to the point' because I'm a lost cause.

I'm gonna tag the very few mutuals I have because I do not wanna pester people, aha. So I tag: @itsmeeryn @kl125 (no pressure tho!!! <3)

[higherpriestess312]

1/21/2022

Precursor note: this “boy” needs the word “fuck” in front of it. He’s a loser. He took advantage of my heart break from 10YDB just to slide in the DMs and lead me on and then dropped me like a hot potato out of no where then had a new girlfriend 2 weeks later. He literally runs away in public with his tail between his legs. He’s gross. Big mistake but good lesson.

Hey there world, lets chat.

I've got some things on my mind and facebook or snapchat are not the places to share it all. I tried pen and paper and sometimes it works but sometimes I want somebody, ANYBODY to see whats on my mind. I naturally, as an emotional mellenial born in 1992, have this undying pre-teen angst of being misunderstood. I know someone here will totally get where I'm coming from.

Currently, I am feeling so defeated in this ongoing failed attempt to sway this boy. I say boy, he is a man. We are almost 30 for fucks sake.

After everything I have been through in relationships for the last 15 years, I really find myself in a place where I need to have someone who just wants to say "Fuck it, let's get married and live happily ever after no matter how miserable it may get sometimes." Because realistically, who the fuck really believes in fairytales at this age? Ideally, we would like to, but a real relationship is built on a foundation of, "Hey , this thing your doing is really upsetting me, can we talk about it?" And honestly, I could be with just anyone but I'd rather be with the guy I've crushed on for 9 years, who apparently crushed on me too and our lives lined up just so perfectly for us to finally have an opportunity to be together. Unfortunately, his ex is a psycho and he fell for the wrong girl and is still healing from the bullshit she put him through.

I am surprisingly already over my ex of 10 years. Granted, he made it very easy considering he was never really in it to begin with. Trying to get my significant other to pay attention and just talk to me became very annoying and he didn't realize it but he pushed me away and rejected me so much that it was over years ago.

Also, within that time, my first love from diapers finally came back into my life and impacted it very heavily. Even telling him we can't be too romantic because technically I was still in throes with 10 year douchebag, keeping it friendly I still fell for him. And he fell for me. Finally, I felt like I was headed in the right direction. Taking the time I needed to build on something and I think he needed to do the same. As much as I didn't want to, as soon as I realized I was falling for him, I made space between us. I went about 6 weeks without speaking to him at all and in that time he moved to ABQ, NM. I hate that he left. I told him in May how I felt about him. 2 days later I told him I had to choose 10 year DB because he was in NM and wouldn't be back until November. He was crushed, told me he stopped using, told his friends and co workers about me and I made him actually want to settle down. He wasn't the settling type so the fact that he wanted that was a BFD. After that, our talks weren't as every day as they had been before. I thought about it long and hard. I decided when he came back in November I was going to make the move. I decided leading up to his return date, we would revisit the idea of being together. He texted me June 10th and it was my son's graduation day for 5th grade and I had this big day planned. He wished us well and a "Congraduation" to my boy. I focused on my kids for the summer and still thought about him every day. In my thoughts, I fell harder and harder and confirmed that my decision was made. I wanted to be with him and him only. I texted him July 2nd, "Hey boy heyyy" and he replied with "lol wyd" and I was working so I didn't get a chance to respond. I texted him on July 3rd and told him I was working like crazy, sorry I hadn't replied. I didn't hear from him again. July 4th I was so overwhelmed at work all day and I couldn't stop crying. That night around 9:45pm something hit me really really hard. Like I knew someone was gone. I remember stopping dead in my tracks and my kids asked me what was wrong and I remember thinking "I guess we will find out." On July 9th I found out that he died.

I have grieved him every day. I didn't start to feel better until I started talking to this current guy.

I just wish he would want me back. I know God's timing is everything. I'm sure that this is all part of the plan. I just feel so defeated and confused. Typically by now I would have just given up and walked away, but what if he is the one? But then again what if he isn't? Would God really give me all these signs if he wasn't who I need?

This morning I went to get coffee and I felt this inner urge to get him one too and I just went with it. I got him the coffee, I put a note on it that said, "Dearest you, Good morning ☀ <3, Me." I was going to leave it by the back door I know he walks into but there were two big trucks in the way so I left it on the outside bar. He didn't get it for an hour but I really hope it made his day. He apparently had a not so great morning.

So the trucks.. I've noticed lately there have been a lot of giant trucks blocking my path lately. Like within the last 4 days there have been trucks stopping me from moving forward some how. I wait patiently and then I make my way through. I feel like it's another sign from God. I interpret it as Him telling me to slow down, be patient and then I can go.

It's always amazing the difference you feel between starting to write something and when you've written it all down. It's freeing to let it out. To share. And to actually share in the sense that you know someone is going to read it. Anyone.

I think I'm going to be okay now.

Thanks for listening.

<3, Me

[remy-daybreak-wright-archived]

What is their approach to group projects? Do they hate them? Love them? Take the lead, go with the flow, or do nothing at all? -I like them depending on what we are working on. I tend to go with the flow and give my opinion here and there. Do they have any weird habits or quirks? Ex: pacing the floor when they talk, needing things in even numbers, having to eat food in a certain way.-I use my hands a lot when I'm excited or nervous. Don't make eye contact when I'm scared. Talk fast when I'm nervous. Are they the “I need to shake my leg” type or the “stop shaking your leg, it’s distracting” type?-Everyone has their thing but I don't do it no. How do they text? Do they use excessive punctuation? No punctuation at all? Correct grammar and spelling?-chat speak and lots of emojis What would be their favorite meme?-Hm don't have one. How do they cope with tragedy? Do they retreat and isolate themselves? Reach out to their friends? Use humor?-Retreat. I could stay in my room for weeks on end and I like to be left alone. I'm pretty destructive too and destroy he room or in the past I've harmed myself. What are phrases/slang that they use way too often? Ex: deadass, bet, why am i like this, etc.-I say just too much if that counts. And like. I use asshat if that counts too. What ridiculous grudges do they hold? Ex: that time someone never gave their favorite pen back, their 5th grade teacher making fun of them, something a friend said when they were in middle school.-Just the one over me being turned. How do they feel about pineapple on pizza?-Allergic to pineapple or I was. Are vampires allergic to things? What are their misconceptions about themselves? -I don't deserve love or forgiveness. That I'm always going to be a monster.

What do they see as their strengths vs. what are actually their strengths? How do they think people view them vs. how do people actually view them?-Remys a lot stronger than she gives herself credit for. She's loving and optimistic: outgoing and too forgiving and a bit naive. She's curious and artistic. I think people see her for her heart. What media (TV shows, music, books) did they grow up with?-I like historical fiction and my mom read me a lot of fairytales growing up. Didn't do a lot of tv and I watched mostly Disney movies. What are their guilty pleasures? Ex: watching spanish soap operas, listening to cheesy pop music, dancing by themselves, etc.-dancing alone, Netflix and junk food, lazy days on the couch and the here and there night out. Are they religious/spiritual? Do they believe in ghosts, an afterlife, or aliens?-I grew up in a church family so I believe in a heaven and hell. I think there's ghosts and aliens and all that. Aliens are a tad more far fetched but so we're vampires and mere folk for a while there. What weird conspiracy theories do they believe in?-The whole moon landing being a set up. What seemingly small things do they get worked up about? Ex: small pockets.-Cabinets being left open, reruns on tv and late season beginnings. Delayed schedules. Are they a feminist?-not really. What three words would others use to describe them? What three words would they use to describe themselves?-Compassionate, optimistic, naive and Remy says Artistic, damaged, and loyal Are they an optimist, pessimist, or realist?-optimist. What social media sites do they use? Do they get involved in a lot of fights online, or avoid drama?-Instagram mostly and she does it just to document her life. No drama. Are they generally happy with where their life is right now?-Very happy. She's got what she wanted for a while and she's content where she is.

Character Development Questions

What is their approach to group projects? Do they hate them? Love them? Take the lead, go with the flow, or do nothing at all? 

Do they have any weird habits or quirks? Ex: pacing the floor when they talk, needing things in even numbers, having to eat food in a certain way.

Are they the “I need to shake my leg” type or the “stop shaking your leg, it’s distracting” type?

How do they text? Do they use excessive punctuation? No punctuation at all? Correct grammar and spelling?

What would be their favorite meme?

How do they cope with tragedy? Do they retreat and isolate themselves? Reach out to their friends? Use humor?

What are phrases/slang that they use way too often? Ex: deadass, bet, why am i like this, etc.

What ridiculous grudges do they hold? Ex: that time someone never gave their favorite pen back, their 5th grade teacher making fun of them, something a friend said when they were in middle school.

How do they feel about pineapple on pizza?

What are their misconceptions about themselves? What do they see as their strengths vs. what are actually their strengths? How do they think people view them vs. how do people actually view them?

What media (TV shows, music, books) did they grow up with?

What are their guilty pleasures? Ex: watching spanish soap operas, listening to cheesy pop music, dancing by themselves, etc.

Are they religious/spiritual? Do they believe in ghosts, an afterlife, or aliens?

What weird conspiracy theories do they believe in?

What seemingly small things do they get worked up about? Ex: small pockets.

Are they a feminist?

What three words would others use to describe them? What three words would they use to describe themselves?

Are they an optimist, pessimist, or realist?

What social media sites do they use? Do they get involved in a lot of fights online, or avoid drama?

Are they generally happy with where their life is right now?